Say Nephew

Debutiful, A Most Anticipated Book of the Year

“In chronicling their relationship, Pfau reflects on the myth of the gay uncle. He asks what the community gains from these relationships and what queer nephews owe their mentors in return.” —Alta

“A radical comfort in these times.” —Katie Lee Ellison, The Stranger

“Steven Pfau’s book examines queer mentorship, unclehood, chosen family, and inheritance in a form that is both warm and analytically nimble. That balance matters, because books about queer lineage can become pious very quickly. Say Nephew is smarter, stranger, and more companionable than that.” —Pamela Thomas-Graham, Dandelion Chandelier

“A beautiful ode to family and coming into your own. A blend of traditional memoir with a larger scope exploring mentorship, this book was a pleasure.” —Adam Vitcavage, Debutiful

“A richly detailed, thought-provoking celebration of American independence . . . A fond, uniquely crafted appreciation of the myriad wonders of unclehood.” —Kirkus Reviews

“Essayist and editor Pfau debuts with an elegant and smart collection . . . [He] seamlessly blends memoir with art and literary criticism, and his eloquent prose and wit make this stand out. He is a writer worth keeping an eye on.” —Publishers Weekly

“Say Nephew is both a memoir and intellectual journey on the complex gay relationships between younger and older men. Courageous, and often written with poetic subtlety, this book explores both the dark and light aspects of these bonds, which challenge and enlighten conventional ideas.” —Jennifer Clement, author of The Promised Party

“In this fluid, sexy, and delightfully campy inversion of autotheory, Steven Pfau performs a kind of alchemy, turning grief into comfort, loss into nourishment. I can’t remember the last time a stylish debut brimmed over with such wisdom, and such stern tenderness.” —Patrick Nathan, author of The Future Was Color

“The uncle relation is said to be diagonal, to the side of a parental one, already queer in that way; but for Steven Pfau that doesn’t preclude direct confrontation. The magic act of this resourceful and remarkably sensitive cultural study of the figure of the gay uncle is that, by the end, it doubles as an open and personal account of becoming ‘the kind of person who isn’t afraid of his own desires.’ In the company of this clear-eyed seeker, this companionable guide, both the archive and the steam room are less apparitional.” —Brian Blanchfield, author of Proxies

“Steven Pfau’s riveting debut book investigates a genre of relationship—gay uncle, gay nephew—rarely given air time and usually shrouded in mystification. His beautifully sculpted dramatic scenes, and his deft interludes of intellectual commentary, blend seamlessly to form a vital, indispensable memoir that operates with the eloquence of fiction and the analytic rigor of a ‘case study’ passionately metamorphosed into an elegiac, liberatory love letter.” —Wayne Koestenbaum, author of My Lover, the Rabbi