READERS GUIDE

MORE: A Memoir of Open Marriage
READING GUIDE
 
Pre-Reading
·      Consider the epigram, the quote by Audre Lorde: “The erotic… is the nurturer of all our deepest knowledge.” What kind of self-knowledge can arise from erotic experiences?
 
·      In the Author’s Note, Winter says she consulted her journals as preparation for writing this memoir and was “shocked to discover how often I had lied to myself.” Think about areas of life in which you specifically, or people in general, sometimes have a hard time admitting the truth to themselves.
 
Prologue
·      In the Prologue, Molly is confronted by her 13-year-old son about her open marriage. What is the most awkward conversation you’ve ever had (or avoided having) with your own parents / children? What is your personal philosophy regarding boundaries vs. honesty when talking with one’s parents or children?

Part I
·      In Chapter 3, Molly tells her friend Jessie about her time with Matt at the karaoke party. Jessie says it sounds like Molly “is entering dangerous territory.” Do you agree with Jessie? What is dangerous about this situation? Do you agree with Molly that “once in a while, it’s important to do the dangerous thing”? 
 
·      In Chapter 4, Stewart sleeps with his ex-girlfriend, Lena. When Molly gets upset, he asks her if she wants to stop, that is, if she wants to close the marriage. She says “I don’t know,” but she has a hard time articulating her thoughts. What do you think are her reasons for wanting to keep the marriage open?  
 
·      In Chapter 5, Molly accidentally sends a text meant for Stewart to Matt. Have you ever sent a text to the wrong person? What happened?
 
·      In Chapter 6, Mitchell gives Molly the “homework” of making a list of the freedoms she desires: Freedom From, Freedom To Be, Freedom To Do. Think about freedom in your own life. If you were to create a similar list, what would be on it?
 

 
Part II
·      In Chapters 7 & 8, Molly is engaged in sexual exploration with men she has met on Ashley Madison. Chapter 8 ends with these lines: “How have I arrived at this point? I’m honestly not sure. Shame will do that, smear the details until they become tolerable.” How would you summarize the root source of this shame? 
            
·      In Chapter 9, Molly goes to therapy and Mitchell tells her, “I think there’s a hole in your bucket.” Can you relate to this image? Discuss.
 
·      In Chapters 10 & 11, Molly starts to date Karl. What do you think appeals to her most about this relationship? Do you agree with the couple’s therapist who tells Molly and Stewart that “there are risks” to their outside relationships?
 
·      Discuss the events of Chapter 12, namely Molly’s decision to have a threesome with Karl and Martina. Did you predict how things would go after this point? Also discuss Molly’s mother’s advice at the end of Chapter 13: “Don’t waste this opportunity.” 
 
Part III
·      In Chapter 14, Molly talks about the specialness of Stewart’s anniversary and birthday cards. What rituals do you maintain—or would like to initiate—in your own relationships? 
 
·      Throughout the rest of Part III, both Molly’s relationship with Scott and Stewart’s relationship with Kiwi become more serious. Ultimately, do you think Molly and Stewart’s marriage is enhanced or threatened by these outside relationships? Discuss.

·      What does the title, MORE, mean to you? Did you interpret the title differently after reading the last two pages?