READERS GUIDE

Reader’s Guide for EVERYTHING’S RELATIVE:
 
1.     From the opening chapter of the book, the three sisters epitomize the common traits studies on the relationship between birth order and personalities suggest: Jules is the oldest and a classic type A, responsible and a bit controlling; Brooke is the middle child, the people pleaser and peacemaker; and Lexi, the youngest, is rebellious and self-centered with an “everything will work out” worldview. Do you see any of these common birth order traits in your family or families of those you know?
 
2.     When the girls’ father died, they lost their mother too. She became overly critical and controlling while at the same time handing over many of the motherly duties to Jules, who was only twelve. Losing a spouse is one of the most traumatic events in a person’s life, but it is clear that Juliana never fully recovered, nor did she help her children through the grieving process. Do you empathize with her and feel she did the best she could or do you feel her actions are inexcusable? Did your feelings about her change from the beginning to the end of the book?
 
3.     Jules had to write a book and try to sell it, Brooke had to dump Jake and date someone more deserving and train for a race, while Lexi had to begin using her full name—Alexis—and get a real job. These are very specific requirements that only a person who knew the sisters well could have set. What does this level of knowledge about their personal lives demonstrate about Juliana and the relationship that she has with her daughters, despite the difficulties that they experienced? What sort of final conditions would your parents put on an inheritance in this same style? What changes or goals do you think they would demand of you?
 
4.     Juliana’s controlling nature seems to be born from some desire to control the uncontrollable in the wake of her husband’s senseless and unexpected death. Do you think Juliana’s critical and harsh words for her daughters were meant to, in some way, keep them safe? Can you think of a time when you as a parent or when your own parents reacted harshly or explosively to some event that you or they later admitted was more about fear than the actual mistake or event?
 
5.     Jules’ relationship to her sisters feels more like a parent/child relationship at the beginning of the book, and Lexi especially treats her like an overbearing mother figure. Do you feel those relationships change and become more sisterly as the novel goes on? And if so, what are some key moments when this change is happening?
 
6.     Jules sacrifices a lot when she is young to care for her sisters and, even as an adult, she can’t seem to shake the habit of sacrificing the little comforts—for example a fresh, warm towel—in order to achieve some tiny practical goal that may seem insignificant to those around her. Why do you think Jules continues to do this into her adult years? What little sacrifices did your parent or parents make for you, or what sacrifices have you made as a parent?
 
7.     Brooke’s relationship with her deadbeat boyfriend Jake seems, at first, to make little sense. Why would someone stay with a guy like that who is so obviously a leech on their life? But, this type of relationship is all too common. Why do you think Brooke was settling for Jake? How do you think Brook’s childhood contributed to this habit allowing herself to be taken advantage of?
 
8.     Brooke has a tough start fulfilling her running goals, but as soon as she sees ways that she can help her sisters satisfy their requirements of the will, she is extremely motivated to create a portfolio for Lexi and get herself into some awkward situations trying to sell Jules’ book for her. What do you think this says about Brooke as a person? 
 
9.     Meanwhile, Jules is trying to play cupid for her sister with her long-lost high school sweetheart via Facebook. What do you think of this meddling—is it the same as what Brooke is doing, or does the dating/romance aspect set it in a different category for you?
 
10.  Growing up the youngest sister, Lexi has no memory of her family as a happy functioning unit and, it’s clear from the opening scene in the book, she has always been a headstrong and rebellious person. How does that add up to the Lexi we meet around the time of her mother’s death: a party girl who swaps sex for favors and can barely hold down a job at a dive bar? What do you think are the root causes behind Lexi’s self-destructive behavior and how do you think her mother’s controlling nature may have led to her daughter’s wild ways?
 
11.  Why do you think Lexi never explored her talent as an artist when she was younger? Did it just not fit into the “tough chick” image she had cultivated for herself or was it something more? Based on her behavior, how do you think Lexi estimates her self-worth?
 
12.  Why do you think it was so natural for Lexi to jump to conclusions about Rob’s Thanksgiving plans? How do you think you would have reacted in her situation—when he says he is going to one place and then you find out he’s somewhere else?
 
13.  All of the girls idolize their father, Jules perhaps the most of all as she yearns to follow in his footsteps and become a writer. It’s impossible to know what their actual relationship would have looked like, but it’s obviously important to Jules to keep his memory alive. Is there anyone like this in your life? Someone who you barely remember or never knew, but who you think about each day and imagine, “What if?” and contemplate the guidance or support they would give you?
 
14.  How did you feel about the ending? Were you expecting it or surprised? How would you feel if you were one of the sisters?
 
15.  What do you think the other letter said, the letter that the lawyer was meant to read to the sisters if they did not complete their tasks?
 
16.  What do you see in the future for these characters? Do you think they’ve created solid, lasting bonds and will continue to work on their relationships and strive toward their goals or go on to lead separate lives?